Self-Care Beyond the Surface: Listening to What Your Body Is Telling You

Over the last couple of years, I have noticed a huge increase in people educating themselves on the importance of self-care. I wanted to talk a little more about it and open up some different ways of thinking when it comes to self-care.

Even though people are starting to understand that self-care supports their health and isn’t just a luxury or something reserved for special occasions, there is still a stigma around taking care of yourself.

At Native Skincare and Massage, we always like to ask our clients what they do for self-care. I find it interesting to learn the different perspectives on what self-care is and what it looks like in everyone’s lives. Some go into detail about things they do day to day, such as stretching, walking, working out, etc. Most people give me examples of things they do that only happen when life is “calm.” This can look like massages every 6–10 weeks, vacations, or trying to get into their favorite workout class.

Yes, these things are important, but what I want people to remember is that self-care isn’t just about what you do when life is calm. It’s about having a consistent routine that supports you when life becomes stressful. And as much as we love having time to work out, get massages, or go on vacation, these are sadly the first things to be put on the back burner when we need them the most.

Working in this field, I have learned the importance of taking a moment to breathe and reduce the stress in your life. However, it wasn’t until a month or two ago that I learned more about why this is so important.

We have all heard the phrases, “Your muscles never forget,” “Your body keeps the score,” etc. But why are these phrases even a thing, and what do they mean?

To keep this extremely basic, what we know is that your body’s systems are designed to keep us safe and alive. Our nervous system is consistently shifting between rest and digest and different stress responses, such as fight, flight, or freeze.

Another factor is the pain we experience, both physically and emotionally. Many people find it easier to identify and address physical pain than emotional pain. One theory suggests that, in order to keep us safe, if our body has an emotion it struggles to process, it may shift it into physical pain so we can “process” it more easily.

Where does this come into play?

Have you ever dealt with physical pain? This can be anything from joint pain to knee or hip pain. You go to the doctor and feel like they give you some “explanation” of what the pain is, but doing what they say only works for a short amount of time. One theory behind this is the connection between the mind and the body.

Is the pain you are experiencing real? Absolutely! However, according to this theory, the foundation or root of why you are experiencing it may not always be from a physical action.

I challenge you over the next month: when you experience pain, even if you have a doctor’s explanation for it, take a moment to evaluate how you’re doing mentally and emotionally.

Now, I know this may not be ideal for some people, but the cool thing about understanding this theory is that you do not have to start by diving into what could be causing the emotions. Simply connect with your body, see what it is feeling, and open yourself to the idea that it could be contributing to your physical pain.

-Alyssa Cavallo